“Many adult children struggle with self-forgiveness because we are oriented to doubt ourselves or to be hypercritical of ourselves as children.” BRB p. 234

We carry messages in our heads that if we do something and anyone has a negative reaction, we must have made a mistake. And if anyone tells us we did something wrong, our first thought is, “Of course they’re right!” It doesn’t matter whether we actually did something wrong or not.

We tell ourselves things like “I should have known better!” “What’s the matter with me?” “Look at his expression; of course he’s mad at me.” These are like the messages we heard as children that became so ingrained that we learned at a very early age to say them to ourselves.

Now as adults in ACA, we stop “beating ourselves up” and see the full story. Our healthy support system can help us understand the reality of our situation, to determine what’s really ours and what actually belongs to someone else.

On this day I will remember that I deserve to treat myself better! I will use the tools of the program to separate myself emotionally from an uncomfortable situation and take on only what belongs to me.